Thanks be to the powers.. and Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Ok.. so.. remember way back.. when i was all enraged about someone stealing my social security number and filing a fake tax return and getting a shitpot full of money whilst i sat here unemployed and wondering where MY cake was? (If I knew how to link to a post I would.. but.. ehh.. Sharon?? help?? it works for cedar..lol) ANYHOW..... I finally called the taxpayers advocate since my dad suggested it... Note to self: Always listen to Dad...

So.. I got a call yesterday.. and whoohahahaaaa.. I have a couple bucks in the bank now... plus interest!!! The taxpayer advocate lady is now my new bff.. we are gonna do lunch and chit like that... didn't take HER long to figure out how to fix it..less than 3 weeks...lets all heart her for a while ok?

Financial aid thing at school.. ehh.. didn't work out as I had hoped for.. seems Federal law is Federal law.. so.. I have to drop my favorite bestest class.. Shhhh... Im still gonna go hang out in it.. cause thats how much I wanna learn from this guy... But what Impressed me the most.. was being able to walk up to the college president.. ask him for help.. and him actually doing something about it.. and when it couldn't be resolved.. he didn't wait for a cold letter to be written.. he took the time out to call me.. at home.. and break the news to me.. and then the head of the counseling center called.. to ask if i was ok.. And to be sure I was taking care of me... Since this is my first college experience.. i don't know if other colleges out there are like this.. I know.. my goddaughter had hell at UT*A trying to get stuff sorted out and it wasn't till we both went in and stood on our heads that they finally took note she needed help..

I wasn't expecting the help, kindness and concern I was shown.. I very much heart my college and will be sad to have to leave it in May... And yes.. I did send a few very special thank you emails.. or should I send cards.. to those involved??

On the other hand.. today is my Mom's birthday.. As always.. it is a very bittersweet day for me... She would have been.. lets see...71... hmm.. i guess being immortalized in your child's eye's at 44 isn't such a bad thing.. To me she will always have that smile and the tilt of the head like I do.. So.. happy Birthday Mom.. Still out here tryin to do the "next right thing" and hopin you'll be proud... I love you..
Your Baby Girl...

Happy Mothers Day Mom

Dear Mom..
I'm writing you this letter cause you know.. well I can't call you and come by and see you.. life sucks like that sometimes.. I miss you everyday.. I don't know that its gotten any easier in the last 26 years or that I have just accepted that ache I have when I think about you. In a perfect world.. that man would have never existed and guns would not be allowed in any home.. and if I could have been there.. I would gladly have taken that bullet for you.. You gave me life and I would have gladly given up mine so you could have yours..

All in all Mom.. I have had a good life.. loved some.. lost some.. but I persevered and have been grateful for that. It wasn't always been easy.. and there have been times when all I wanted to do was come crawl up in your lap and hear you tell me just one more time, "I love you, it is gonna be ok." Not to worry though.. I am in good hands with Diane.. she knows she will never be you.. but she loves me and does want the best for me.. ya'll are so totally different.. sometimes I think it is quite hunorous..

Theres just so many things I would love to tell you and show you.. I know I never had kids but I have Randi.. Mom.. she's the closest thing I'll ever have to having one of my own.. and I have only seen 1/10th of the frustration I know a real parent can feel.. and the heartache when I see her eyes well up with tears and know that all I can do is tell her, "I love you and its gonna be ok."

I have someone in my life that I am absolutely crazy about.. I think you'd like her too.. Don't know where it is headed.. but I know.. she just plain rocks.. She doesn't see it sometimes.. why I am crazy about her I mean.. but she.. well.. she just is.. like the song says.. "She's a cross around her neck and a cuss word cause it's Monday.." She believes in me.. and I believe in her.. I guess thats a basic building block huh?

Ok.. I am going to go start my day now. just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you.. I miss you.. and I love you Mom... Happy Mothers Day..
Love,
Your baby girl..

P.S. To everyone reading this.. Do your part to stop domestic violence.. so no daughter or son has to feel this pain and live with it..It sucks to have her ripped away without being able to say goodbye.. or know that there was something you couldnt do.. to protect her the way she protected you all those years..