Dear Mom...

I know I have been remiss about my usual new years letter to you.. so I thought I would give it a shot this year..things are going well.. more or less.. I am still working at the airport and going to school.. it seems like it will take forever until i graduate.. but when I do.. My biggest wish is that you could be here.. for ten minutes.. to see the graduation walk and let me hug you one more time.. I miss that the most..

Made some mistakes this year.. this house.. trying to help people who really don't want to be helped.. but.. I have made great strides as well.. I am learning to remodel this house.. although.. I still hear your voice in my head.. "quit throwing good money after bad" but.. I am getting the gist of it.. I've made my peace with the decisions I have made.. One thing I have learned through life..mostly from you and Dad..is you do the best you can at the time..right or wrong.. if its your best.. then thats all you can do...

Buckeye is now 4 years old.. I know.. it seems like yesterday he was a wiggly lil thing in the palm of my hand.. now he hogs the bed..who knew I could love a puppy like this.. but he is my confidant..my buddy..

I have people in my life that love me.. and I am thankful for that.. I have family.. and extended families.. and I have a few very dear friends.. never have been the one to have many friends.. and thats ok.. cause the ones I do have.. are there for life..

I don't see my brothers much.. its funny.. how sometimes families are like people in a restaurant.. you wouldnt normally see each other unless its dinner that brings you together.. I haven't seen Steve in so many years I have lost track.. and Mike.. well.. Mike is Mike.. and we all know how that is..::insert eyeroll here:::

Its really sad you never got to meet Randi Mom.. I know I never had kids.. but if I would have.. I would hope they would turn out like she has.. I know I had a little influence at least in how she was raised.. but I know I can't take credit for it too.. she's a beautiful child who claimed me as her Godmother.. she said.. I was her gift from God.. ::smiling:: hows that for makin a tear well up? I know it did me..

My heart holds someone special.. I don't know where that will end up either.. but I do know.. well I just know.. She's special to me.. and makes every part of me smile.. and yes.. I do tell her that.. no matter where it ends up.. I am blessed to have her in my life period..

Thats about it for now Mom.. Know that I miss you today.. same as I did all those many years ago when you got ripped away from me so cruelly and so undeservedly....I wish things could have turned out differently.. but.. all in God's plan I suppose..Ya know.. while youre there.. could ya ask Him to be a teeeenyy bit clearer about what the heck that plan is?? I'm gettin kinda stuck here..I love you and miss you.. hope that you're proud of me..
Love.. your baby girl...